Promoting Positive Behaviour

Supporting children gain in confidence is all about encouragement and praise, rewarding positive behaviour. Focusing on negative behaviour over time lowers the self-confidence and self-esteem for children and can lead to behavioural difficulties. 

Teaching children boundaries and right from wrong starts from babies, modelling positive behaviour teaches child by observation. For example, if a parent was to throw a toy the child would be more than likely to copy so modelling putting toys way will promote good behaviour. 

Providing choices for your children is also an incredible way of boosting confidence.  This shows the children that their opinion matters and is easily achievable even in the busiest of families. The important thing to remember is to give them a choice of two things, any more than this will create confusion. The two choices you provide must be something that is both doable and something you will allow for example, “today do you want to go to the park or go swimming,” these must be followed I order for the child to feel that they have been listened to. 

The choice technique works really well with negative behaviour. If you have been suing the choices for positive things, like in the above statement, then the child associates the choice with good things. Therefore, if a child is showing negative behaviour and for example, is running away when walking around a shop asking them “do you want to hold my hand or hold on to the buggy,” they will choose one or the other and each option brings them back to you. 

Generally behavioural problems begin to arise around the age of 2 years old, the reason for this is for a toddler there is so many different stimulations in every environment, they are beginning to filter and understand somethings but are still unable to fully understand and articulate their feelings and so begins the feelings of frustration. 

The most important thing to do when your child is showing negative behaviour is to understand why. Often, they may feel overwhelmed, confused, distressed etc. The last thing that child will need is to be shouted at or disciplined. In these situations, the child will need comfort and support to feel safe again.

When a child has begun to work themselves up often there is not a possibility of talking to them or reasoning with them. Allow the child to calm down and give them time to seek comfort if needed and then address the situation. Trying to resolve negative behaviour with a distressed child will result in a long draw out process which will generally end in a parent giving the child what they want and not using the situation as an opportunity to learn.