Raising a Happy Child

Emotional problems in parents are linked to emotional problems in their children. We naturally pass over feelings to other people we are around, therefore our children will pick up on our feeling if we are either feeling positive or negative. 

Generally picking up on a negative feeling can create anxious children, these children do not feel secure and therefore can often act out and show negative behaviour. 

The biggest way to remain positive it to remember you are doing a great job, nobody is perfect, and everyone has their own struggles. Never be afraid to ask for support. 

 

Celebrate often 

Celebrate the small and the big things: End of a busy week, first day of school, good report from teacher, Job promotions, Birthdays. Celebrations bring people together and find the positives. This teaches your child to be proud of their own achievements and the mportacne of the small things. 

 

Talk to your Children 

So often families get bogged down by the busy routine of general life, it is important that your children do not feel that they just become part of that routine. The best way of making sure your children feel important to you is to talk to them and listen to them. Give them the time to communicate with you, allowing them some time without distractions. Make sure when your children are talking you are not using your phone, this prevents eye contact and can show that you are not interested. 

Also responding thoughtfully, this encourages children to have confidence in their communication and will help build that relationship. 

 

Have regular meals together 

Eating together is a key time where a family is able to communicate how their day has been, celebrate the good things and openly talk about the struggles of the day. It has been proven that children that sit and eat as a family are less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs or develop psychological issues. 

This is also a great idea as most families are able to eat together on a near daily basis, it becomes part of a routine whilst being such a small and simple change. 

 

Talk about managing emotions 

Regulating emotions from a young age supports children with a range of different life experience’s: moving to a new house, going to school, bereavement etc. It is important that children understand that we all feel a range of different emotions and it is ok to feel different ways but we must teach children why they feel a certain way. This starts from around 2 years old, children begin to show frustration and often problem behaviour begin to show. This is where we should be allowing children to express their feelings by being that reassuring person to explain how they are feeling. 

Often tantrums cause adults to raise their voice at their children, this is the opposite of what should be done in order to eradicate the situation as quickly as possible. When children are having a tantrum this means they have lost control, they feel overwhelmed and unable to rationalise a situation. This is where the adult steps in to discuss the problem or just provide a calm and supportive role to reassure them. 

When a child has reached the level where they are emotionally fuelled there is a very small change of being able to communicate effectively with them. This is why it is so important to calm the situation before trying to move forward. 

Support your children to think positively, things could always be worse. Helping them look at the bigger picture to understand how or why things happen. Try not to make a big deal out of spilled drinks or broken objects, this way children can see how we as adults overcome issues. 

 

Teach children about meaningful relationships

Showing care and support to one another within a family supports children build meaningful relationships as they grow and develop. Having strong relationships is vital to future relationships, growth and psychological wellbeing. 

 

To build meaningful relationships the most important things are communication, allowing time, understanding emotions. Teaching children that it is ok to feel a range of different emotions and understanding how we react to different emotions. 

 

Create an environment where your child feels supported, listened to and cared for. Allowing time to talk to your children and time for your children to come to you to talk about the things that interest them. Separated families also need to show care for each other providing that supported environment throughout their child’s life and in all aspects. 

 

Ensuring your children get enough sleep 

Sleep is essential to brain function, focus, creativity and management of emotions. Without sleep we are unable to work to our full potential on a day to day basis and for children it can become overwhelming. 

 

In order to ensure your children have a good sleep it is important to set out a good bed time routine and stick to it as much as possible. Reduce screen time for children throughout the day and eliminate this for one to two hours before sleep. Blue light from electronic devices affect sleep patterns and inhibits melatonin production. 

 

Setting reasonable boundaries 

Setting goals for children is a fantastic way to encourage good behaviour. Rewarding good behaviour and having reasonable expectations. For example if a child was to wait in a line for a long period of time and for the first half they were very well behaved, this would be a reasonable expectation. Children need to be stimulated and will actively try to eliminate their own boredom therefore it is important to plan ahead and talk to your children about what is expected from them in day to day situations. 

Without boundaries children feel unsupported and will often be unable to make good life choices. Boundaries set a standard for our children, although it is unhealthy to be too controlling an understanding of day to day expectations support children’s growth and development.